I long for the day when my computer becomes a transparent tool for the job at hand. It just seems to me it's all gotten worse lately. There was a period a couple years ago when everything seemed to be working fine, software and hardware mated in the machine, then the push for bigger and faster, not necessarily better multipled exponentially.

I don't hate my toaster, I don't hate the refrigerator, nor a hammer. I don't hate the guitar, the piano, the harp, the screwdriver, the car. well . . maybe I hate SUVs. . but that's another rant. These appliances and tools and instruments generally don't require more time fixing them just so they will work for the next couple hours. Granted, they are not as complicated, although the car is getting close -- it doesn't run without its chips. I don't hate the O2R, nor the Lexicons in the studio. I don't hate the mic, the camera.

I suppose I could turn it off. Instead of sitting in front of this two dimensional screen in a semi-fixed stance, semi-glazed eyes, semi-alive world.I could sit on my real front porch and watch the dimensional world go by, chat with neighbors, talk to the crows...

But I'm hooked. I've developed a valuable skill set. I can do intricate non-linear digital audio and video editing, work within multiple software environments, communicate effectively, help others solve their problems with similar machines, make a living, I'm good at what I do.

And there are these great new features in Final Cut Pro, and I need to finish my book . . . .I cannot live without it. My livelihood depends upon it.

But I didn't ask for this. I've spent 90 hours troubleshooting in one month -- not actually working. My stress levels have gone up. I'm cursing, F-ing and Blindin' a whole lot more, I'm not sleeping, I'm dreaming in software, I wake up trying to think of solutions to my problems, which were not my problems until I got this machine. I'm dealing with what feels to me like a lemon. We've got six machines, and the only one that has ever acted this bad was in its death throes.

I believe that we're being molded into creatures who accept as normal the unacceptable, and that computers and technology are just part of the plan -- not conspiracy, but a complicity of convenience. Would it be normal for your car to need to be restarted every six blocks, just so the system would run properly? This would cause all sorts of chaos. But is the time wasted by defective, premature software running on machines for which it has not been properly tested, any less chaotic to the human spirit? What about production costs and wasted time, if one is running a business?

Being an unwitting and unwilling beta tester for a defective product may not appear life threatening as driving a defective vehicle, but it is livelihood threatening. And you can bet it is taking years off your life, minute by minute.

While consumers have used lemon laws to protect their cars for years, it is time that all new computers come with a 1 year warranty to protect consumers.This legislation is increasingly necessary as more people purchase computers.

From Consumerreports.org:

Despite rapid progress with better PCs, consumers still face a risk of buying a defective machine. Five percent of desktop PCs sold since 1996 were dead on arrival--totally inoperable when buyers set them up--according to a survey of more than 54,000 Consumer Reports readers last spring. Another 11 percent of these PCs had serious problems in the first month of ownership.

What happens when your computer is a dud? Good luck getting your money back from the manufacturer. Computer makers, who tout their industry as the key to consumer empowerment, take lots of liberties where their own defective merchandise is concerned. They often shift responsibility for warranty work onto the consumer, who must replace parts, rejigger software, and otherwise serve as the unpaid, unskilled hands of telephone tech-support coaches.

In most cases, the crash course in computer repair enables the buyer to fix the problem. But when that fails, the buyer must do more work--shipping or hand-delivering the broken box to a real repair technician. Computer manufacturers seldom send repair people to the consumer's home to fix defective equipment--the first service call alone can plunge that sale into red ink--and they're loath to replace a broken machine with a fresh one that works.

Nationwide, statistics on the number of PC lemons are hard to come by, but 1.5 percent of the PCs our readers purchased in 1999 and the first four months of 2000 have had three or more components replaced, according to our spring survey. We think that reasonably quantifies the PC lemon rate. That equals 238,500 of the 15.9 million desktop PCs sold to consumers last year.

Jerry and Barb Wells of West Chester, Pa., say they know about such problems firsthand. In April 1998 they bought a $2,175 PC from Quantex Microsystems. Over the first year, the hard drive, floppy drive, and speakers failed, and the monitor went kaput, they claim. Also, tech support helped wipe out the preinstalled software and wouldn't replace it, they said.

Finally, after multiple repairs, hours of tech-support calls, and an on-site repair visit, Quantex agreed to take back the computer--if the Wellses paid a 40 percent restocking fee.

"We're appalled," says Barb Wells, who ended up getting the computer fixed for $350 at a repair shop. Quantex declined to comment.

Other consumers report similar experiences with big-name brands, including Apple, Compaq, and Gateway. This is why a committee of the Pennsylvania state legislature considered the nation's first PC lemon law this year. In February, a similar bill was introduced in Illinois.

The bills would standardize guidelines for repair of defective PCs and other computer-related electronic devices sold in the state and would give consumers a statutory right to a refund if the manufacturer fails to fix the machine after two tries. The bills are an improvement over the automobile lemon laws they're derived from because they would require refund or replacement after only two (vs. four) unsuccessful repair attempts and don't require that both attempts be for repair of the same defect, only that the defects make the PC "operate in a manner not intended."

Computer trade groups say that hardware makers can police themselves and that consumers already have protection under the federal Magnuson-Moss Warranty Act.

But Craig Kimmel, an automobile lemon-law attorney who has represented hundreds of consumers with PC lemons and who helped draft the Pennsylvania bill, says Magnuson-Moss has loopholes. For example, it allows manufacturers to argue that the law applies only to full warranties, not to the limited warranty they provide, Kimmel says. Under Magnuson-Moss, "only people with the greatest tenacity get action," adds George Scully, a Cook County representative who introduced the Illinois bill.

The Pennsylvania and Illinois bills died this year, but their sponsors say they plan to reintroduce them. The Federal Trade Commission, meanwhile, has expressed interest in using the Pennsylvania bill as a model for federal legislation, Kimmel says. Consumers Union also supports PC lemon laws.

What do you think? If you had already taken your machine back to the shop three times. We made the mistake of not using a credit card to pay for it (we paid by check). The guy who owns the shop where we bought this lemon acts arrogant because he doesn't really want to admit that there's anything wrong with the machine . . . . .and it still doesn't work . . . .

What would you do? It's not just that the hardware may be defective --.it also may be that the software which supposedly was designed to run on it -- the System -- is defective or the software which is supposed to run with the System -- is defective, or needs a bug fix (not as yet written, yet a "known issue"), yet this machine which cost thousands of dollars was sold as the state of the art machine for the job. The RAM has been replaced, one hard drive -- all within two weeks. And one day after getting the machine back it continues to operate in a manner not intended, the mouse freezes, programs start losing parts and pieces, the system disappears. . . .and on and on . . .six pages single spaced of things gone wrong, hours and hours spent re-doing lost work, hours and hours on the phone with tech support, hours of travelling back and forth to take the machine back. This is not my idea of "normal".

Quoted from the Pennsylvania bill:

(a) A purchaser of a computer device is entitled to effective repairs by the manufacturer for any nonconformity that arises during the first 24 months of use, at no cost to the purchase.

(b) At the time of sale of a computer device, the manufacturer must conspicuously disclose the name and version number of all software programs or combinations of programs that will or may be likely to cause operating problems with the computer device. In any action brought under this Act, when there is a claim that such disclosure was not made, the burden is one the manufacturer to prove that such a disclosure was made..."

"Nonconformity" means a defect, condition or malfunction that impairs the use of a computer device or causes it to operate in a manner not intended.

"Computer device" is a central processing unit or terminal display screen, including all circuitry and connective devices, printer, modem, scanner or other device used with a computer or any programming for a computer, whether preinstalled or purchased separately.

Think about this one! Your software would have to work as well. Another friend has a lemon machine. His machine came with a modem that wouldn't work, a system that was incompatible with a video cam which came as part of the package, and a TV video capture card that messes up the audio playback in the system. He gets blue screens trying to print. This is sounding too familiar. The operating system which came with this machine is so unstable it is unusable. He thinks the machine is approximately 70 percent working, which means it is not working 30 percent of the time.

What if Microsoft actually had to release a stable operating system? One that is not taken down by the simplest of actions? And those that sell machines with this system must make sure that all the parts (software and hardware) are compatible before boxing them up as a package.

And from my recent experience with this Brand New Beast I'm beginning to wonder if the downturn in the economy after the party and burn of a couple years ago has taken its toll in the quality control division.

I have never been so unhappy with a computer. Nothing worked properly from Day One. I've had hands on experience on several hundred machines, since I have done consulting and set up systems for students, teachers, other clients. I deal with technology in some form or another nearly 12 hours a day, whether my own, in the studio, or belonging to someone else. If a machine looks like a lemon, smells like a lemon, acts like a lemon . . . . . it just might be a lemon.

SIX MONTHS later: OK, three keyboards and two mice later, for the moment, it seems to be working....apparently, something was amis with the keyboards . . . . .and the mouse . . . .that solved what seemed to be the remaining problems --- after replacing two RAM cards, two hard drives, . . . . .zeroing the hard drives, re-installing the system numerous times....I'm grateful that it's working but I still wonder . . . . .will I lose everything tomorrow? The new Bible: Thou shalt always remember to backup your data.